When we feel powerless & outraged in the face of violence & murder

Trigger warning- re Bondi Junction Murders and trauma recovery after homicide.

My friend Janet was murdered in a knife attack. Her life was marked by resilience and the capacity to rebuild.

She endured a violent relationship in which her partner attempted to kill her and her children.

In a courageous act of self-preservation, she pretended to die to escape the situation, running out of the room into the street when he turned his violence and cruelty on their two babies.
She saved herself and her children and Janet’s relief was palpable when her attacker was jailed but none of us ever imagined her next partner would murder her in a brutal knife attack & then take his own life.

I was working in a domestic violence shelter alone on the weekend shift when I took the call to say that Janet had been murdered in a knife attack .

Chronic trauma and grief require mindful attention and support.

The pain of losing someone so violently is profound, murder leaves a lasting impact and cannot be measured. It devastates loved ones, impacts first responders and traumatises the community.

The process of mourning a violent death is complex and multilayered. The deaths of victims who were preyed upon today is deeply personal and our compassion & outrage are a reflection of our connection & our humanity.

In the days leading up to Janet’s funeral, I sought to harness my pain and outrage.

I learned to breathe deeply into the depths of the overwhelming emotions and grief, to move through the shock that was like an electrical storm, to visualise the grief transforming into love & then exhaled that mindful energy slowly, sending Intention of well-being and safety to Janet’s family and to the women and children living in domestic violence shelters across the country.

This process gave me a sense of purpose and a way to channel my grief into something productive.

Art also played a significant role in the days and weeks after her murder. Creating art allowed me to embody Janet’s story, to allow my hands to process the grief and honour her strength.

The art became a means of processing the emotions and memories tied to Janet’s life and death.

It helped me honour her memory and keep her story alive in the shocking reality of her death. By sharing Janet’s experiences through art, I was able to facilitate talking circles where women could share their own stories of courage and resilience.

When I spoke at Janet’s funeral it was with a promise I made to her to dedicate my work to her memory.

The impact of domestic violence on individuals, families, and communities cannot be measured.
By supporting survivors and providing resources for those in need, we can assist the family to heal and recover.

The stabbings at Bondi Junction today confront us with the ongoing threat of violence in our communities.

These despicable events mirror the senseless loss of life & call us to act in meaningful ways to honour the victims and their families.

We must focus on supporting those affected by these recent attacks.

This can include contributing to organisations that support victim survivors, raising awareness about the impact of violence, and pressing for policy changes that prioritise safety and prevention.

As a nation-community it is a call to support those suffering from this unspeakable act by finding ways to channel our outrage into actionable change and to recognise that lateral trauma and lateral violence can erode our own mental health and well-being when we feel powerless in the face of violence beyond our control.

What IS in our control is what we do with our anger and outrage and sorrow