~ The Art Of Change ~ with Carol Omer ~

Art and Creativity as Mediums for Empowerment , Connection and Change…

Archive for the ‘Energy’ Category

Reflecting on Oprah’s visit to Australia and When Women Dream and Create Together…

Posted by carolom on September 17, 2010

Over the years I played  a selection of Oprahs programs in-house as they were a rich, rare source of discussion and reflection and glimpses into new possibilities and self reflection during the years I ran a personal development group at a shelter for homeless young mothers.  Oprah’s personal story is one of over coming enormous obstacles and  the impact of abuse, liberation from racism and the power of aligning with the Divinity of life,  putting practical action to make the Dream come true. Many homeless Women I met over the years recognised their own potential through the Stories that Oprah brought onto the world stage…

For young Aboriginal Women at the shelter who grew up seeing only white faces on Australian television (sadly not much has changed), Oprah’s presence on national television was hugely significant.

Oprah Winfrey is surrounded by a co-creative team and it has taken many years of creativity and co-operation for her to have reached the stand alone level of influence and impact she has achieved.  I saw how impactful and life changing her motivational shows were for homeless Women throughout the 90’s – especially the Remembering Your Spirit series .  I admire her achievements enormously,  though I am not so much interested in her  programs around celebrity and make overs as I am about what people can do to create change and activate their fullest potential.

Women’s Well~Being has been the focus of my work from many years & most of the  ProsperArty Mandalas and the personal development art that I create for workshops express the Goddess aspect of being a Woman. We would sit and colour the Mandalas whilst watching the Oprah Show ~ a very relaxed way to sit and absorb information.

For me, one of the most powerful off all internal keys to creating change is Creativity…returning to the free flowing, creative state we came into this world with & have  often lost along the way….

In the Spirit of recognising a Woman of great influence, who manifests the very best of the Goddesses, Athena the Warrior who invokes change, Hestia who presides over home and heart’h, Persephone who transcended the subjugation of the underworld and Artemis who cares for young girls and sacred animals, I acknowledge Oprah Winfrey’s role that she has played in showing women that you can create and grow and bring about change in this world, irrespective of which of the skins you are in, where you have come from or what others will say can or can’t be done….

The Mandala below – which I have called “When Women Dream and Create Together” is created in the form of a Mandorla, the name of the shape created where two circles meet.  See my “About me ” page for further explanation of the Mandorla.

I was inspired to create “When Women Dream and Create Together” when it was announced that Oprah Winfrey would be coming to Australia, in a jumbo jet with John Travolta in the pilot seat and dozens of over joyed audience members! How fitting that Oprah completes her 25 years of public television with a trip to the Dreamtime Country.

Australia is Aboriginal country with a history of profound culture and wisdom that goes back thousands of years prior to European’s arriving here just a very short time ago. It is a living culture with so much to teach the world about how to live in harmony with Nature and within our Self. It is still the very early days of recovery from the devastating impact of white-settlement and I sincerely hope this important  Australian story to the world during her visit.

I chose the words at the centre of the Mandorla to reflect three things that are core to creating together : Love, Passion & Service.

Service is rent paid for room on Earth”….

In my workshops we add colour to the black and white template to create our own ProsperArty posters for relaxation and reflection.  For those who have not experienced working with the Mandala (circular) art form, I encourage you to give it a try!  Place your Vision, / thoughts / feelings into the Circle and see what Magic will unfold….

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When Women Dream and Create Together

***

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Together the Women are united in their Vision.

They hold up the Pyramid, symbolising the  Feminine Trinity:

~ Mother, Daughter, Divine  Spirit  ~

The Women  rise from the Heart together.

Love is the powerful, unifying force that generates their Creations.

***

Posted in ART of Change, Australia, Beauty, Change, Creativity, Dreaming, Energy, Fun, Gratitude, Imagination, Journeys, Joy, Lifes Stories, Love, Magic, Mandalas, Oneness, Oprah Australia, Oprah Winfrey, ProsperArty, Relationships, SiStars, Spirituality, Stories, The Art of Change, Transformation, Unity, Warrior Women, Wisdom, Women | 3 Comments »

Rainbow Season

Posted by carolom on July 25, 2008

This time of the year is ‘rainbow season’ in Adelaide…a time when the winter rains and sunshine meld and merge to create huge streaks of colour across the skyline.

Last year I was invited to facilitate a Womens Camp in a remote area and unlike much of my work, I had no existing relationships with either the staff or participants so was particularly mindful of bringing in new information and art tools as a stranger to the Community.

The camp site was a couple of hours drive out of the main town in a beautiful, untouched part of the coastline. We all arrived on a hired coach and spent the first couple of hours settling in to the cabins which were very cozy and nestled at the foot of the sand hills.

After settling into my room I stepped outside to gather my thoughts before beginning and held the thought of “Well I hope this is a peaceful, fun time for us all” and I had no sooner finished thinking the thought when the Heavens presented me with a big, colourful confirmation of “ask and ye shall receive”…

Over the Womens cabins my ‘sign’ appeared…and it is no surprise that the camp was a great success even with a few unexpected factors arising….

Here is ‘The Sign’….

Posted in Australia, Beauty, Community, Energy, Friendships, Gratitude, Magic, Nature, Power of Focus, Rainbows, Relationships, Sisterhood, Spirituality, Stress, Transformation, Women | Leave a Comment »

Drama Detox Unit open for Business…

Posted by carolom on May 31, 2008

DRAMA DE-TOX UNIT

A Cautionary Tale Dedicated to the recovering Dramaholic in all of us….well many of us. This is a fictionally true transcript from Dramaholics Anonymous, held at a venue ~ and a venyou ~ nearby.

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Trouble ~ “Hi my name is Trouble and I am a Dramaholic.

Person A ~ Hi Trouble”
Person B ~  “Welcome Trouble”
Person C ~ Just nods head slightly…doesn’t like to welcome Trouble anymore

Group Leader: “Welcome Trouble. It is so good you have decided to come along and we’d appreciate it if you would tell us a bit about yourself”

Trouble: “Well I was born into Trouble. My mama was a Drama Queen and my daddy was nowhere to be found.
Mama modelled Drama to us kids very well.

She taught us to always pick the wrong kind of guy, make sure there was lots of chaos in our life before getting rid of him and then go out and find another one and get on with the whole dang thing again!. Now I look for trouble and draaama everywhere and in everything people say and do. And I sure am good at finding it!

Person A~ Praise the Lord I think we had the same mama
Person B~ Heavens above…I think I might be your mama
Person C~ silence….no longer even looks Trouble in the eye…

Group Leader:  “So what has made you decide to come to Dramaholics Anon and apply to stay in the Draaaama Detox Unit Trouble?”

Trouble:    “Well there I was in the midst of wagging my finger at yet another person who seemed to just want to make my life more complicated..my latest boyfriend who proved to be just like the last three …and all of a suddenI looked up and saw my mama standing there in front of me”

Group Leader:   “Why was this a problem”?

Trouble:   “Well she has been dead for ten years but I tell you when I looked up in that bathroom mirror and saw my mamas familiar weary face and angry brow and recognised that disappointed look in her eye, barely concealing those unshed tears…….I KNEW I was in big Trouble!
I stood there looking in the mirror and remembered all the times I had fleshed out arguments in my life.
How many times I found myself bickering with people cause they were so wrong and I was so right and I KNEW I needed to make them see my point of view. How many times  I tore peoples words apart so I could find the perfect one to be offended by…too many times to count over the years!

After all the Trouble in me had a very strong calling to point out to others their failings and how to correct their words and behaviors so they would be just like me.
Then I remembered how many times I would get to a peaceful place and it felt REALLLL uncomfortable so I would start looking around and find someone to make a bit of Trouble with or criticise someone near to me for letting me down or not acting how I thought they should be acting!

Group Leader:  “Well Trouble..you have come to the right place and the first thing we would like to do, after the big group hug , is give you a new name. So from now on we will all know you as:

“GrownUp”!

”We reckon you have had enough Trouble for one life time and with your new insight, because you have finally seen that you have been creating this Drama in your life for too long now, you earn your Brand New name…

Grown Up~ formerly known as Trouble (blinking modest tears of appreciation and realistion how lonely she had been for so long whilst she was Trouble):    “Well thankyou SO much for that. I am amazed that I only had to come here to Dramaholics once to finally really get the message that when I let go of looking for and creating Trouble then I really truly am all Grown Up!…

Group Leader:   Well the realisation is just the first step Grown up, that old draaaama addiction will still have a hold at times but at least you now have an understanding of your role in these things…

The End.

…and The BEginning of Trouble beginning to finally realise that we usually find what we are looking for and the wisdom of making sure we are looking to make a positive difference in the world rather than add to the tsunami of drama, gossip, irrelevant ‘news’ and media-machinations currently consuming the planet and the consciousness of its inhabitants with its currents of draaaama….

“Men occasionally stumble across the Truth but most pick themself up and hurry off as if nothing has happened”.

“The Magical Child in Exile – Why Does the Creative Well Being Run Dry? ” is related to the “Drama Detox unit” and can be read by clicking on the dots here…………

Posted in Chaos, Creativity, Drama, Energy, Humor, Imagination, Laughter, law of attraction, Lifes Stories, Mind Power, Women | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

Northern Exposure…

Posted by carolom on May 11, 2008

I somehow missed watching Northern Exposure in the 90’s and have had the delight of discovering it many years after the final episode.
Sal was a fan of the show and his daughters remember watching the show with dad when they were young.

So I was pleased to find that the Adelaide library has the full six series, 110 epsiodes…and for the last few weeks have watched from episode one through to the final, moving scene on the last show (see video clip “Our Town” below.)

The creators of the show were members of the Esalen Institute. Click here for wikipedia info on Northern Exposure and Eslan
Northern Exposure’s flavor came from a combination of various influences. The show’s creators, Joshua Brand and John Falsey, were members of the Esalen Institute in California where an eclectically “spiritual” worldview was presented, best exemplified in the writings of Swiss psychologist Carl Jung and American anthropologist/mythologist Joseph Campbell (whose works are frequently referenced in the series). There are also fantasy elements inherited from the works of Carlos Castaneda and the magical realism novels and stories of Latin American author Gabriel Garc’a M’rquez. Both creators were also conversant with classical Russian Literature. This characteristic is evident in the satirical elements from the show that are hallmarks of the Russian literary grotesque style of such authors as Gogol and Dostoevsky.”

The influence of Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung and the interplay between the seen and unseen realms along with Native American mythology and magic are unsurpassed by any other television series in my humble opinion..

Posted in Community, Creativity, Energy, Journeys, Northern Exposure, Shamanic, Stories | 2 Comments »

Tandanya (Adelaide) is a beautiful City that sits on the traditional Aboriginal (Kaurna) Land…

Posted by carolom on May 4, 2008

Tandanya is the Kaurna Aboriginal name for the Adelaide city area and was for many, many thousands of years, a place for special ceremonies connected with Red Kangaroo Dreaming. Adelaide is built on Kaurna (pronounced Garn-na) land.
Source -Tandanya Web Page

The older I get the more I am able to appreciate the simple things in life…like living in a city that has a river flowing through its center…and many black swans, pelicans, ducks, galahs, cockatoos and rainbow lorikeets swimming, flying and nesting along the river banks…

i took some photos today as we walked a few kilometers from Bonython Park into Elder Park (cappaccino break)…and back again. (Just realised I can’t spell cappaccino properly!)

Beautiful day out in the city that recently endured over 2 weeks of 100oF + wether, months of no rain…but is now green and moist again, true to the elemental cycle of a City in the desert.

Posted in Aboriginal, Adelaide, Animals, Energy, Kaurna, Magic, Nature, Prosperity, Stories | Leave a Comment »

The Power of Gratitude…

Posted by carolom on September 11, 2007

I ran a session today for a group of Women who have had many obstacles and challenges in life. Violence, abuse, racism…the list is extensive.
Our discussion was about the power of Gratitude and how activating appreciation for simply being alive can begin to move one up the emotional scale from depression and despair to love and connection…
“I’m here…i woke up this morning…and for a long time I didn’t want to be” was the reflection of one of the Women.

There is a never ending list of injustices in the world and it is those who are able to find a peaceful place within who can make a huge difference with their small circle and thus the wider one of the global community…

The rise in mental health issues reveals that many people are stuck in the never ending cycle of anguish and depression so spending time in the company of wounded goddesses who are making a difference in their life , brought to mind the “Gratitude Dance”….

Posted in Community, Energy, Forgiveness, Imagination, Lifes Stories, Love, Uncategorized, Wisdom | 2 Comments »

Reconciliation Week 2007

Posted by carolom on June 1, 2007

Reconiliation Week draws to a close .
Here are some of the images I took last weekend…

The Ceremony Honouring Aborignal Service Men and Women…once they returned to home soil after fighting side by side, Aborigines were not allowed to drink in hotels with their fellow Servicemen /women…

Val …..a long term activist and artist- known for her colourful attire and powerful orations

Gifts from Service clubs and Govt deptartments for Kaurna Plains School. Kaurna Plains is an Aborginal School where language is taught and culture kept strong…..

Including “Survival in our Own Land”…a powerful history of the impact of colonisation on Nunga (Aborignal people) is a book every Australian should read…

Later in the morning people gathered for the annual march…and Karl prepared the fire ceremony

Then my good buddy Katrina appeared from the crowd with a politcal statement about the decline of Aboriginal social Justice issues in the 10 years of Howards government. she really got the crowd thinking…

Katrina was the first Aboriginal journalist for Murdoch’s press. You can hear some of her story in a short doco we made with her..click on NTV4 on the T.V graphic

The Fire was lit and carried down to the River side where there was music and celebrations

Later in the week I was honoured to present the Art of Change as co-host at a Wellness Camp and we created some empowerment heart together…

Reconciliation Week 2007…perhaps in 2008 there will be further Celebrations as the new government meets its agreement to formally apologise for the Stolen Generation and begin to redress the balance Energetically between Black and non-Black Australia.

Posted in Aboriginal, Community, Energy, Kaurna, Social Artistry, Spirituality, Wealth | 1 Comment »

You are a Spiritual Broadcasting Station…

Posted by carolom on May 15, 2007

The following short essay was written by Ernest Holmes over 40 years ago…it is a timeless classic and a reminder that many of the seemingly new and original concepts and metaphors written by people like Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Bob Proctor, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra and many lesser known authors go way back in time.
In the 21st Century we are repackaging old Truths in new high-tech-formats at a level of accessibilty never seen before and that’s why so many of the authors are saying the same thing in the self development movement.

Wallace Wattles was writing about the very same things Ernest Holmes was saying, and Joseph Murphy, Catherine Ponder, Judge Thomas Troward, James Allen, Ralph Waldo Trine, Florence Schovill Shinn…on and on the list goes…. and many of these New Thought authors, including Ernest and Wallace can be read for free on line here:

Cornerstone Books

(Scroll half way down the page to the three column section and click on over two dozen authors all saying the same things in a wonderful variety of styles and stories….)

That invisible, unseen realm of Intuition and Energy is far better understood by many Indigenous cultures where intuition, Energy and connection have not been overlayed and covered by linear world of the man-made systems that are often the very opposite to our natural essence and Energetic core.

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“You are a Spiritual Broadcasting station”
By Ernest Holmes


Image source:Crystal Links

“Did you ever stop to think that you are a Spiritual and mental broadcasting station and that messages are going out from you in all directions, even as you sleep-messages which have an influence on your environment and the people around you? And since everything moves in circles, the messages you broadcast will come back to you.

We are all broad casting stations whether we know it or not. Our thoughts, feelings and emotions, our faiths and fears tend to make an imprint in our environment.

We are also receiving sets but it does not follow that we must tune into every program being broadcast.

If a persons mind is filled with animosity and resentment people will feel it, whether or not he says a word.
This animosity arouses within others who have resentment and animosity a feeling like his own.

His thoughts tune into theirs and theirs immediately respond by flowing back into him. One accentuates the other.

On the other hand if we are surrounded by people who have resentment and animosity, but you have none, you will not tune in.
Their vibration, their airwaves bypass you and their antagonism does not arouse an equal antagonism in you because you are not broadcasting the same mental wavelength.

A person who confidently expects good things to happen, who expects everyone to like him and who expects to find happiness in life wherever she goes will not only be broadcasting these thoughts which will make other people happy, she will be receiving them in return.
Because she feels friendly, people will respond with friendliness.

We should decide to think the affirmative side of life or accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.

In doing this we must make up our minds that we are not going to receive the criticism or the negative state or the animosity of anyone.

And let us not forget the importance of keeping our minds in a state of good-natured flexibility.
We have to be flexible and tolerant as well as positive and affirmative.

And even if someone throws a brick at us, we need not catch it.
It is far better just to step aside.
When we catch the bricks that are thrown at us it is generally for one purpose, to throw them back. And the first thing we know the air is full of bricks and what a mess that makes.
It will help if we decide to play the game of life in a happy way”.

Puts a whole new perspective on a Brainstorm….

Click here for more ‘visual puns’….

Posted in Community, Energy, law of attraction, Metaphysics, Peace, Relationships, Transformation, Wisdom | 3 Comments »

A Cup of the Outback and Travelling without baggage….

Posted by carolom on April 25, 2007

More and more as time goes by coincidence, serendipity and synchronicity appear in all manner of creative ways.

Today Marcy from Maui invited people to click on to a direct broadcast of the Dalai Lama on Maui.

What a thrill and a gift!! I was able to enjoy a full two hours of traditional music and welcome and a divine discourse from the Master of Compassion himself.. The wind spirits were dancing all around the stage …and in my back garden…and it was wonderful to be able to be there in cyber-form as the event was happening.

Thankyou sew much Marcy.

Throughout the two hours we popped into the discussion thread, kind of like the chat you have to the person next to you when you are experiencing something special….this was two of the posts:

Marcy
I KNOW this is the power of Desire, of ASKING and Allowing!

It is TOTALLY AMAZING!

Carol

It’s the little things that I love about the Mirrorcle of life…

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After the broadcast was over I went into Sals studio to pick up his coffee mug for a refill…and was delighted to see a very interesting image in his coffee grains and stains:

Uluru!! sitting right there in the centre of the mug looking just like a coffee painting…the mug mirroring the images I had been talking about a half an hour before. The white ‘sky’ space around the coffee-grain Uluru is very similar to the shape of Australia.

One of our discussions in the Dalai Lama thread had been in response to the comment his Holiness made regarding the importance of traditional Indigenous Cultures retaining Identity.
Here in Oz, the image of Uluru is a powerful symbol of the Dreamtime, traditional Aboriginal land and ancient culture so I was tickled-Ochre to see how my observation of the coffee cup and responding with great feeling to the Indigenous culture commentary morphed into one gorgeous Mirrorcle yet again!!

But wait! There is more…..

There was also discussion and appreciation made over how, through the internet, we can be somewhere as it is happening and feel the vibrations as clearly as if we were there physically. So I guess it is not surprising that the latest radio program pod cast of “Bush Telegraph”, which I downloaded at random onto my I-pod for a post-Maui walk, was about 3,000 rural women from across the globe who are meeting in Africa for a world conference and how some of the Australian women who are not able to be there in person are attending via a sophisticated video-broadcast system that enables them to be seen and heard, to participate in planning sessions, deliver papers and network from their own homes in another country.

Having just returned from Maui and my front row seat with the Dalai Lama I was just SO right there with the woman from rural Victoria who was talking about their appreciation of the technology that is so state of the art it automatically swtiches between videos to who ever was talking or answering a question.

Coffee cups and sacred rocks, Cyber-conferencing and workshops…sigh….what an amazing time to be alive!

*You can see an image of Uluru in my blog here: ….What do The Secret and Uluru have in common?

Posted in Aboriginal, Australia, Community, Creativity, Energy, Imagination, law of attraction, Lifes Stories, Magic, Oneness, Peace, Social Artistry, Transformation | 1 Comment »

The Sha’manic. The Manic. And the Mists of Madness in between…

Posted by carolom on April 21, 2007

*This piece is shared here for my friend on the Lonsdale Street Tram who has asked many questions over the years about my view on “Energy Management” and why I think that energetic and Emotional Mastery of the often chaotic forces within is such an important part of our journey to reaching our fullest potential.

For a number of years I had several highly creative, highly emotional, charismatic people in my close inner circle. Some have remained and others have taken a different path.
During one particularly chaotic year three of my friends were diagnosed as having bi-polar (manic depression)..a state that highly creative, often emotionally unresolved people experience as the sharp side of the brilliant Sword of creativity and a highly imaginative Mind.
I have never experienced that place myself, though the mirrors of my relationships reflected back the choas that often accompanies the highly creative state and I sometimes had a “there but for the grace of god go I” perspective.

These days, unswayed, uncharmed and unconvinced by the hyper-energetic excitations of another’s “wow”, I am ever mindful that once sleeplessness begins, it is often followed by a gloriously seductive technicolour dream that is merely a nightmare awaiting to enter centre stage..

I read and researched widely during that chaotic time and have no doubt that much of the entertainment, paintings, movies, stories and ideas we enjoy collectively were birthed within and as a result of the hyper-manic realms and from the depressed and darkened place that most often follows.

Those books I bought are now boxed away and happily removed from my everyday life but I remember what I have learnt and am Thankful for the lessons though I have no need to return to that place of learning ever again..
Through those many journeys that I walked with friends and family and in my work in the areas of homelessness and welfare, I came to realise that there is a “Mist” of ‘madness in this realm of “mania” / hyper-mania, bi-polarities and chaos.
One of my friends ( we were Thelma and Louise in our teens) finally realised how seasonal her manic-eruptions were, that was the beginning to transcending the chaos that visited her every winter for several years.

It is not a ‘line’ that one crosses from ‘sane’ to ‘crazy’…it can begin with a little thought here or an odd reaction there droplet by droplet like when we begin to enter a fog that we can see in the distance and suddenly realise the fog has consumed us and we can no longer see a single foot in front of us.

What is ‘crazy’ anyway?
The Shaman and time travellers of Indigenous ways of old – and not so old – required the altered state to access their gifts and the Other Realm.
Our mental health system is one based on pathology and sickness not the Mythological state and individual giftedness, which is often defined by those ‘manic’ currents and imPulses.
Our visionaries, shaman, mystics and time travellers are most often sedated, mislablled, interned and squashed by medical practitioners and therapsits who are themselves uninitiated into those higher, precarious realms.

There was a time in my life when the seemingly Shamanic erupted into the Manic so brilliantly and outrageously that I barely had time to grab my floaties and goggles before the tsunami of a thousand volts of creative and chaotic currents crashed down upon my world and swept me to the outer realms of the human Mind…

At the time I referred to the “Demon” who entered our home and whilst I may not use that term today …I am not so sure I would not still refer to the Demonstration of such chaos with anything less than dislike and take great care in its unpredictable presence.

 

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The Mists of Madness…
A semi-fictional Story remembering all of those who I walked with upon that crazy path over 10 years ago…

Remember how much I used to hate your snoring? Well I’ve never told you this but sometimes I welcomed the raucous rumbling with delight! I would prop myself up on one arm and smile as I watched you sleep. I’d stroke your hair and pull the sheets over your shoulders, serenity in the beauty of our Love.

It was at those times that I welcomed your snoring like a reliable old friend.
You see I had come to understand that you never snored when the demon was nearby.
Your snoring told me that you were resting deeply and your mind was not stinging with the relentless attack of whirlwind thoughts, paranoia and tormented thinking.
The raucous racket of your snoring told me that we were in for a peaceful night.

We laughed that time I video taped your snores as they went from a quiet hum to a hullabaloo. After that you didn’t doubt me when I said I had to leave the room in order to sleep. You even looked a little embarrassed that such an undignified racket was beyond your control.
We were both convinced that you had gifts from God and we were in agreement that much was expected from one to whom much had been given!
Snoring was outside of this dignified realm.

I knew that when the demon was nearby you would not sleep. You would be pacing the floor, bouncing up and down on a crazy see sore of euphoria and tragedy.
You might wake me up with that crazy secretive look that alluded to mysterious knowledge of far away thing – no time for sleeping, no time for eating and no time…absolutely no time… for me..

In fact unbeknownst to me I may have turned into the enemy whilst I was sleeping. That took some adjusting to!

When the demon was in our house you would watch me sideways, seeking out the signs that would confirm to you I was now foe and not friend..

I was a cryptic enemy to be decoded
When the demon was in our house even our animals were plotting against your Divine purpose and none of us were to be trusted.
Except our beautiful dog who walked tirelessly by your side.
When she panted with thirst you no longer saw the need in her eyes…all you saw were the things you thought were true.
Even when they weren’t.

When the demon wasn’t in our house I tread carefully lest it be merely slumbering and ready to pounce at us from behind the madness veil.

Although the demon spoke to you, spoke with you and saw through you …it was not you who stood before me…you had disappeared in the mists of time.
Where did my snoring, contented mate go when the monster was here?
The moments of brilliance and knowledge twisted in a frenzy of certainty and not.
When did they merge to become one big knot until your thinking confused you and your thoughts were like rattle snakes stinging wild monkeys in the prison of your mind?

Sometimes I found myself drawn into your swirling, twirling mists of madness.
It was easier to pretend the bizarre to be true, than to plunge into my heart break alone.
Then I would cry and beg you to come back, rest, sleep, slow down.
Return to me and the world we will never again share.
You looked at me with brash confidence.
Your new world was far superior to mine.
You said my tears were cleverly plotted to draw you in…you weren’t to be fooled by the hysterics of one such as me!
I lay there sobbing and watched the tears turn deep velvet red.
My heart had split open, broken on the bed.

You were euphoric in your mania, swinging recklessly through unexplored terrain.
You invited me to join you, oblivious to my pain.
When the demon was in our house there were messages in unseen things.
Sometimes we had to go to the bathroom to speak lest the enemies were listening through wires thread through neighborhood yards.

Your look suggested I was your co-conspirator but I misread you, I was so pathetically happy to be on your side again that I joined you in whispered secrets made safe by a running hot, noisy shower.
Whatever it takes!
And it took my peace of mind.
Puffed up with bravado and conviction you were ready to confront those spies who were cleverly hidden in a neighbor’s disguise.
You had begun to burn things and you abandoned objects in the street.
The mists of madness now consumed you in a swirling, fog in your head.
Not even the incense could rid our sacred scarred home from the acrid odor of fear and dread.

I called you and I called you ….“Please come back, don’t leave me here. .. don’t let them take you away”.
……and when I realised you were no longer with me I yelled at that demon to return you to me.
I thought it was too late, you had gone but then I saw a glimmer of you in your eyes.

Teary, weary, fearful eyes, I grabbed your hand and brought you home. You only stayed for a minute or two.

Your body quivered and shook from the tremendous bolts of energy that charged forth from the darkness and wrapped you in tentacle embrace.

There was fear and euphoria, confusion upon your face.
Electrical currents surged through the once peaceful, reflective place.

The demon barged into our scared home and wouldn’t leave
…so I had to call the police and have them take you both away.
I no longer had a choice.

And you looked at me with a little smile that said… “See, I knew I was right…you were plotting against me”.

And I stood there and I shattered before my own eyes and bled into tomorrow.
Much was lost and too little was gained when our home was invaded by the demon from the unrequited past.

Grandiose certainty lay shattered and smashed in the debris of our life.
The demon mocked all that we once believed in.
We were once so confident about tomorrow…but were left with shattered yesterdays.

Forever in my heart you will remain
and I close the door on that place knowing that
we all learnt was needed
for where we were
at that Time….

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Finding our Sacred, Peaceful Pathway….spending time in Nature enables us to Breathe once again…

Posted in Chaos, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen's behaviour, Creativity, Drama, Dreaming, Energy, Fear, Grandiosity, Imagination, Journeys, Lifes Stories, Manic, mental illness, Shamanic | 2 Comments »