The Beauty in the Sorrow….
Posted by carolom on August 16, 2007
On September 8th it is the 6th Anniversary of the death of my childhood friend…she was killed by her husband, who then killed himself…
In unrelated circumstances I was recently invited to facilitate a five week Women’s Art project Always Remembered…creating empowerment Art and Badges to distribute to shelters to honour the memory of Women and Children who have died in domestic violence….I also acknowledge the pets who have lost their lives at the hand of rage also.
I work extensively with Women whose lives are affected by violence and addiction and am privileged to hear many stories of courage and resilience and hope that never dies….and Women who identify where they can create changes and how so much of their past can be rescripted so that fear and subjugation is transformed to resilience and courage to resist….and hopelessness and worry become determination and empowerment.
And then there are the Women who come to my programs who are the perpetrators of violence…often the daughters of violent Mothers and, to quote one Woman…”mean, mean Grandma’s”… and their stories challenge the stereotypes that are so prevalent in the human services sector…but that’s another Blog-Story for another day………
As I was driving to the second session I was pondering how my friend ran out of chances to leave….this was the second knife attack she had endured in five years, the first by another man who eventually committed suicide after his release from prison…..
My friend had a many-years-long pattern of choosing badly when it came to love and happiness…she did not get to break the pattern that formed during years of low self esteem and drug addiction….
But she was more than just her tragic story and we laughed a lot over the years we spent together in the wild-70’s and during our early childhood days…
As I neared the venue, I pulled up at the traffic lights, immersed in contemplating both my friends path, where her children are now and the fantastic Art work we were about to create, when the Sun, on this cloudy winters day, appeared from behind the clouds…
My partner Sal has instilled “Carry your camera everywhere” in me and so I was able to capture the moment…..
The image mirrored my reflections and I was reminded of how important it is to be able to embrace all that happens in life, denial and resistance only adds to the stress of moving through the pain….
“I am large I can embrace paradox”- Walt Whitman
Part of the empowerment Art process is to create simple pieces that reflect aspects of who we are, where we have been…and where we are going.
I did this glass painting (on the wall in the following photo) 10 years ago….
Immersed in the Ocean creatures, surrounded by the Eagle and the hand offering the light of the candle I realise that at the deepest level we all know who we are and what brings inspiration and love to our life….it’s just that we often end up with who I~Am~AMnesia….and the Journey to peace of mind and happiness is something we can paint into our life…by just remembering who we already are….