Ode to the Rescuer

This poem is  dedicated to the  many women, especially those  who I meet in domestic violence shelters,  who really do believe:

‘If I just keep on loving him, he will change & we will have the relationship that I know is possible’...

Ode to the Rescuer:

There was something very appealing about his pain

It matched her pattern perfectly

 and her pattern goes like this:

Give me a damaged man  with potential

and I will embrace him as my life mission

My personal quest!

I will claim myself to be his Rescuer

Through my eyes he will see

how sorely he has been denied Love

And  with the love of this Good Woman, he will heal!

He will heal

He will heal

He will heal

With the peace of mind that I alone have brought to him,

delivered to him on a sincere heart that pulses with conviction

His heart shall finally, after many troubled years

beat with contentment in symbiotic rhythm with  my own

Ahh..this future memory  brings tears to my eyes and reminds me  to be patient and the reward will come

Of this truth I have created, I am sure.

He will change

He will change

He will change

I shall interpret his moodiness as poetic brooding,

his sarcasm as merely the shadow of his enormous artistic sensitivities and his broken promises as the unfortunate repercussions of a busy, preoccupied man.

I shall deny myself my heart’s desires,

less they place too much of a burden on his already busy mind.

I shall seduce him into security with words thinly veiled

with the false reassurance that I want nothing of him

After all he is the broken one…

Not me.

***

I will prove to him that I am the one single woman

on this Earth who can heal his troubled Soul.

Because I believe in him like no other has in the past

or could possibly at any time in the future….

As the rescue program gets under way I will slowly begin to allow

the duality of the situation to come to the fore

Actually I won’t have a choice!

Having ensnared him with my rescuers net

or having fallen into his

I shall wrestle with the duality of being drawn to his charismatic withdrawals

whilst also experiencing an awakening  awareness

that he is indeed mirroring my own need to  heal and rescue the wounded heart.

 

There is something painfully seductive about that wounded heart….

In order to ignore the needs of my own hopeful

desperate

optimistic

aching

wounded  heart

I will plunge into my rescuing role with paradox and passion

for  I am drawn to the angst of  tortured feelings

which I have misconstrued as Romance and Love as haplessly as he is drawn to his broody silences

and the acidic observations he casts out to bait me every now and then.

And quite regularly at times.

Words that forge our bond  like “who else would put up with you or me” and

“we were meant for one another, we are as bad as each other“

will be the hypnotic  sound track of the saga of our co-dependence

He will be my co-star as my life unfolds according to the stories I believe

Stories that I have created

Fictional stories I will defend as

Love

Alas it is a tired old script with no surprises in the Story whatsoever

but it will take me a long time to understand that to reinterpret and rewrite the lead roles

 because most of  this is new to me!

And I am a stranger to myself…

Therefore I will need quite some time to realise any of this as this predictable Olde Story unfolds on a roller coaster of drama and desire

yearning and conflict

Those old ‘but I love him” scenarios and inevitable cycles replaying themselves in the guise of Love.

Love?

No this is just unlearnt lessons in re-enactment!

I will come to realise this one day

though I do not know that yet of course

Although my heart does skip a beat when he looks at me in that certain something way

Surely that must be Love?

though you may well  think I am making a banquet from a few crumbs of moments of hard earned intimacy

You are wrong of course!

Wrong

Wrong

Wrong

I know this banquet will be rich in the fruits of my desires so long as I am patient.

I will be Patient

I will be Patient

I will be Patient

My mantras give my life meaning and hope

They really do

 Really really they do.

In the meantime I will deny that the toxins of this relationship are causing me great harm.

Souring my naiveté. Poisoning the sweetness of my illusions whilst I continue to defend his lack of friendliness and warmth as justified on account of the awful things he went through as a child.

The unresolved issues with his difficult father

The conflict with his  troubled mother

There was just so much trouble that went into creating his troubled life

 that I share

I am perhaps the only one who really knows that

and understands him and LOVES him

The only one

The lonely one

BUT….

Love will conquer all.  I think I am sure of that!

There is only one fixed rule in all of this apparent uncertainty

 And this the rule I made and now obey:

I must Love him no matter how hard he is to Love.

I will Love him unconditionally

I will Love him unconditionally

I will Love him unconditionally

This one rule will make it all wonderful one day because

He will open up

He will open up

He will open up

Ultimately of course I will deny myself the right to move forward, to reach my fullest potential because I will be anchored defiantly  to our co-dependence and staunchly

courageously

desperately

refer to it as

Love!

This is what I know Love to be.

The End

 

2001…I rededicate this to my lifelong friend Janet who was killed by her husband who then killed himself. Your life mattered, your stories are important to be told.                                                                                           

Carol Omer 

 

~ World Peace Day – September 21st ~

World Peace Begins at Home!

Peace, harmony, balance, generating feelings of relaxation and well being.

Being centered and relaxed  with the Mind at rest. These are the Gifts of Mandala, a Sanskrit word meaning Circle.

I created the following Mandala poster for Women living in the domestic violence shelters where I was working, after a newly arrived resident pointed out that the shelter walls were covered in anti-violence posters but all she saw was the word violence all around her and negative imagery and  it didn’t feel like a safe place to be on account of that. Shelters often have posters that are considered ‘educational’ but her observations brought into question their true value and worth.

It was a very important message she gave to the staff and I thank her for her invaluable feedback. We invited feedback from other residents and they too  made comments such as “that one that says ‘domestic violence hurts kids’ made my little boy  frightened especially   that one of the woman cowering with her kids in the background”.

We listened to what we were being told through the eyes of women  who had come to live at the shelter at a point of chaos and danger in their life and systematically removed all of the words and images that were not aligned with Peace and positivity.

We refocused on Peace to create Peace no longer using the word violence  in order to reach its opposite and the other posters and pamphlets that dealt with issues of violence and poverty were in the filing cabinet and only brought our if necessary during group conversations.

The World Peace Begins at Home poster continues to be one of the most popular of what became my  ART of Change tools and now lives in many houses on fridges and bathroom doors, each one coloured differently from the next.

It is not only Women living in domestic violence who are leading busy, chaotic lives though It is important for all of us to take some time to breathe, relax, play and create! That’s why Mandalas for colouring in are received so well by women who are living in shelters and women who are looking for some balance in their busy busy lives.

If you would like a copy of the black and white World Peace Begins at Home template, leave me a message with your email address and I will happily and freely share it with you.

*Please see note below for the Dedication of this poster.

This Mandala is freely shared in dedication  to the special memory of my friend Janet who lost her life in domestic violence in 2001.

We used to sing “Give Peace a Chance” when we were young and loving life back in the 70′s and neither of us could have known where Janets path would take her.

Travel in Peace my beloved friend….

Reflecting on Oprah’s visit to Australia and When Women Dream and Create Together…

Over the years I played  a selection of Oprahs programs in-house as they were a rich, rare source of discussion and reflection and glimpses into new possibilities and self reflection during the years I ran a personal development group at a shelter for homeless young mothers.  Oprah’s personal story is one of over coming enormous obstacles and  the impact of abuse, liberation from racism and the power of aligning with the Divinity of life,  putting practical action to make the Dream come true. Many homeless Women I met over the years recognised their own potential through the Stories that Oprah brought onto the world stage…

For young Aboriginal Women at the shelter who grew up seeing only white faces on Australian television (sadly not much has changed), Oprah’s presence on national television was hugely significant.

Oprah Winfrey is surrounded by a co-creative team and it has taken many years of creativity and co-operation for her to have reached the stand alone level of influence and impact she has achieved.  I saw how impactful and life changing her motivational shows were for homeless Women throughout the 90′s – especially the Remembering Your Spirit series .  I admire her achievements enormously,  though I am not so much interested in her  programs around celebrity and make overs as I am about what people can do to create change and activate their fullest potential.

Women’s Well~Being has been the focus of my work from many years & most of the  ProsperArty Mandalas and the personal development art that I create for workshops express the Goddess aspect of being a Woman. We would sit and colour the Mandalas whilst watching the Oprah Show ~ a very relaxed way to sit and absorb information.

For me, one of the most powerful off all internal keys to creating change is Creativity…returning to the free flowing, creative state we came into this world with & have  often lost along the way….

In the Spirit of recognising a Woman of great influence, who manifests the very best of the Goddesses, Athena the Warrior who invokes change, Hestia who presides over home and heart’h, Persephone who transcended the subjugation of the underworld and Artemis who cares for young girls and sacred animals, I acknowledge Oprah Winfrey’s role that she has played in showing women that you can create and grow and bring about change in this world, irrespective of which of the skins you are in, where you have come from or what others will say can or can’t be done….

The Mandala below – which I have called “When Women Dream and Create Together” is created in the form of a Mandorla, the name of the shape created where two circles meet.  See my “About me ” page for further explanation of the Mandorla.

I was inspired to create “When Women Dream and Create Together” when it was announced that Oprah Winfrey would be coming to Australia, in a jumbo jet with John Travolta in the pilot seat and dozens of over joyed audience members! How fitting that Oprah completes her 25 years of public television with a trip to the Dreamtime Country.

Australia is Aboriginal country with a history of profound culture and wisdom that goes back thousands of years prior to European’s arriving here just a very short time ago. It is a living culture with so much to teach the world about how to live in harmony with Nature and within our Self. It is still the very early days of recovery from the devastating impact of white-settlement and I sincerely hope this important  Australian story to the world during her visit.

I chose the words at the centre of the Mandorla to reflect three things that are core to creating together : Love, Passion & Service.

“Service is rent paid for room on Earth”….

In my workshops we add colour to the black and white template to create our own ProsperArty posters for relaxation and reflection.  For those who have not experienced working with the Mandala (circular) art form, I encourage you to give it a try!  Place your Vision, / thoughts / feelings into the Circle and see what Magic will unfold….

***

When Women Dream and Create Together

***

***

Together the Women are united in their Vision.

They hold up the Pyramid, symbolising the  Feminine Trinity:

~ Mother, Daughter, Divine  Spirit  ~

The Women  rise from the Heart together.

Love is the powerful, unifying force that generates their Creations.

***

Creativity and Life Coaching…what does that mean?

On 4DiJ TV on Monday evening I discussed the role of creativity in the Life Coaching process. I was not able to imbed the segment but you can click here to view the program 4DiJ TV goes live to the internet at 8 pm every Monday evening (South Australian time). You can view all past episodes at the site ….

Here are two of our recent guests… In the first photo Karnage from Karnage and Darknis followed by Major Sumner of the Talkindjeri Dance troupe in conversation with the host of 4DiJ Tv, David Salomon.

Click on the individual episodes and hear what they Karnage and Major are doing – across the generations – in music and dance here in Australia.

The Virus

The Virus

I was 5 or 6 years old a migrant child of parents who were swept away from the sooty chimney towns of Britain’s working class north by the promises of a bright new life in a young country.
A country brimming, spilling and erupting with outrageous opportunities for people especially white people who dreamt of owning their very own land.
Australia

We were the ten pound package , government assisted chance of a life time Brits who flocked in their thousands to these shores and landed like sparkling white seagulls that squabble amongst themselves as they fly in kindred form.
Noisy chattering seagulls on the look out for the best morsel they can find. Some have said seagulls all look and act the same…
Poms they called us, the latest flock of new arrivals following in the footsteps of the convicts and our sea faring ancestors who came to seize new territory in a land that was not young at all.

Big skies, wide streets, pupil dazzling light
Brand new asbestos houses far removed from the tall sooty terrace flats cramped side by side back Home.
We staggered wearily, eagerly into government issue houses that nestled expectantly in the middle of tiny little paddocks. Neatly sliced quarter acre blocks that beckoned the new arrivals to seed a brand new life and sow a future far removed from the misty grey land where the sun rarely shines….

This was The Lucky Country and we thought that we were very lucky indeed!

There was much to learn and many new things to see and for awhile my migrant child’s world was consumed with more space new friends, big school, new sounds, interesting sights and beach time delights. In fact we were so immersed in our new life we were utterly, completely, mind numbingly oblivious
to the Land where we were living…

That is when the virus struck.

I remember the day it happened.Unlike those silent viruses that sit invisibly on taps waiting to hitch a ride
on fingertips that brush past lips this insidious, relentless, sickening parasite travelled effortlessly upon the breath transmitted upon invisible sound waves elusive in their source, the destination always the same

It was very hard for young children to escape a germ such as that!

I was standing by the milk shed when the virus struck. Its current host was a plump red freckly boy called George. He was no doubt named after a king, an uncle or grandfather back Home . The kids called George names like dot-face and carrot top. Giggling and laughing, George entertained us by pulling faces and joining in the fun.
His best friend stood with us, Peter Green, an Australian boy who was fond of saying “we go back 6 generations“, even though he didn’t really know what it meant. His father said it all the time so it must have been important.

Peter was teaching George the real Australian way

We were standing in the cool shade, a rare find across the sweltering expanse of the asphalt playground
when the virus emerged and the first cross infection occurred. In a loud voice that announced his cockney origins wherever he went. George sang out four words in the mocking tone of a confident child:
“Dirty coon, rotten baboon”

Four words that speared my consciousness and left a tender wound, a vulnerable space to host a virus that I was too young to fight. Georges words invoked contempt a voracious contempt that swept through the crowded school yard as quickly as it took to catch one another’s breath.
I followed Georges eyes and saw the object of his loathing.

Curly haired Lindy and her little brother Jimmy the Aboriginal kids.

The Blacks

Lindy and Jimmy stood out from the sea of white faces. Shiny black birds surrounded by vicious seagulls.
They stood holding the eyes of their attacker whilst holding tightly onto one another’s hand. Jimmy leaned towards his big sister terrified that the big kid with the flaming red hair was about to lunge and squash him then and there.

They were the outcast kids the Abo’s who were never ever invited to play our games.
Peter smiled at George approvingly and one or two others snickered our way the virus twisting itself across children’s faces annihilating the anti-bodies of innocence feasting upon the collective enjoyment of someone else being teased.

This particularly robust virus had its own language. After coon followed different words boong-boong –that’s the noise they make when the bull bar hits them…before long other children joined in the heckling until a bubonic plague of racist torment swamped us all in its vitriolic grip.
That was the day I learnt a new A, B C. The uniquely Australian alphabet.
A. B. C.
Abo
Boong
Coon.

This was the alphabet I was infected with as a child.

In the lucky country. A magnificent land older than the mountains with secrets winding back through time.
Something terrible occurred. A virus was unleashed long before our little family travelled to the down under shores…..

What became of Lindy and Jimmy?

Innocent children who were called half castes, treated as out casts. Removed from their Mother, kidnapped before her very eyes. Thanks to the power of forgiveness and decency and common sense, strong medicines for curing the malaise of toxic tongues and the virus that leaves many deaf and mute and blind, Lindy and Jimmy and I became friends.

Precious friends …..and together we are all in recovery from the virus that strikes so many innocent children down.

EarthSong Aboriginal Healing Pathways Foundation Community Launch

We have been incorporated for a year now so it was very good timing for us to have our first Communty launch.

Members of our Womens group presented the 7 Sisters Inma and the children from Kaurna Plains school danced. Naomi Hicks sang along with her children and nieces and sister and we were honoured to host several overseas guests including Grandmother Agnes Pilgrim of the 13 Grandmothers Council.

Grandmother Agnes is from the Takelma nation and has been traveling to different communities over the last few weeks.

Here are some of the photos from the day and if you are interested in learning more about what we are doing at EarthSong, please click on our facebook group here and join us:

Robert Masters, husband of Jean Houston, has passed away.

Sal and I have benefited greatly from Jean Houston’s work and are committed to the principles of Social Artistry. We first met at Jeans Mystery School event in 2001 and enjoyed many ‘Bob’ stories that were always peppered with humour and wit, that also revelaed Bobs many talents and his great mind.

We didn’t get to meet Bob but our thoughts are with him and Jean as they venture through the next stage of life’s ever unfolding Mysteries.

Bob passed away on July 27th 2008 leaving many great literary works and Foundation for Mind research studies in his wake.

Here is a copy of Bobs obituary published in the Oregon Mailtribune.

Obituary from the Mailtribune, Oregon…

Robert Masters was the beloved husband of Jean Houston, Ph.D., with whom he co-founded and directed The Foundation for Mind Research.
The couple’s shared passion for charting, understanding, developing and teaching of Human and Extended Human Capacities fueled their lifelong adventure toward improving the quality of life for peoples of all ages, cultures and geographic locations.
Together, they were among the principal founders of the human potential movement.

Masters served in the Navy in WWII, mainly in the Pacific arena. He then joined his father, Colonel Masters, in duties regarding ordinance in the occupation of France and Germany. There he continued his student activities studying informally with Jean Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir. In Germany, he attended the University of Marburg and was one of the first to translate Heidegger’s Sein und Zeit into English.
Completing his degree at the University of Missouri, he taught philosophy for several years before becoming a newspaper editor, writing editorials for the Houston Post and then the Shreveport Times. In Louisiana he became a good friend of Elvis Presley.
He came to New York in 1962, where he became the editor of the Library of Sex Research for Julian Press and published eight books in the field of sexology and natural history which became classics in their field. It was in New York that he met Jean Houston and they were married in 1965.

Masters authored or co-authored more than 30 books and 100 papers and articles describing his researches into the varieties of human behavior and potentials. John Lennon wrote a song about one of the books he wrote with Jean Houston, Mind Games.

His works have been translated into many languages and he has taught and done research in Europe, Africa and Asia as well as the Americas.

Masters is recognized as a leading pioneer in consciousness research and the human potentials field. He has also published poetry, fiction, essays, literary and art criticism, book reviews, anthology contributions, and forewords and introductions to books by authors in many different fields.

Robert Masters conducted on-site investigations of states of consciousness in many different cultures and countries. He pioneered applications of altered states in education and psychotherapy, as well as in neural, sensory, and kinesthetic reeducation aimed at overcoming many different problems but especially at making possible a larger and more productive access to human potentials.

Robert Masters was the founder and was President Emeritus of the Association for the Masters Psychophysical Method, a group of hundreds of teachers trained and certified by him for the work he created in the field of psychophysical reeducation.

Along with Association members, Dr. Masters endeavored to establish centers for this work in cities across the U.S., where the intended focus addressed “older people.”

Prior to his passing, he was involved in related research and other work to delay the onset of “symptoms of aging” and improve the quality of life of older people.

In addition to ongoing work in psychophysical reeducation, altered states of consciousness and other areas long worked with in the context of human potentials (research, educational and other applications), Masters initiated experimental approaches to esoteric psychologies and spiritual disciplines and was particularly knowledgeable about ancient Egyptian psychospiritual practices.

Robert Masters is survived by his wife, Jean Houston. He will be missed not only by those close to him, but by his peers and the many students who benefited from his mentoring and who called him Papa Bob.

Dr. Marti Glenn and her husband, Ken Bruer, are establishing as a tribute the Robert Masters Scholarship Fund for students in somatic psychology at their Santa Barbara Graduate Institute, and

Rainbow Season

This time of the year is ‘rainbow season’ in Adelaide…a time when the winter rains and sunshine meld and merge to create huge streaks of colour across the skyline.

Last year I was invited to facilitate a Womens Camp in a remote area and unlike much of my work, I had no existing relationships with either the staff or participants so was particularly mindful of bringing in new information and art tools as a stranger to the Community.

The camp site was a couple of hours drive out of the main town in a beautiful, untouched part of the coastline. We all arrived on a hired coach and spent the first couple of hours settling in to the cabins which were very cozy and nestled at the foot of the sand hills.

After settling into my room I stepped outside to gather my thoughts before beginning and held the thought of “Well I hope this is a peaceful, fun time for us all” and I had no sooner finished thinking the thought when the Heavens presented me with a big, colourful confirmation of “ask and ye shall receive”…

Over the Womens cabins my ‘sign’ appeared…and it is no surprise that the camp was a great success even with a few unexpected factors arising….

Here is ‘The Sign’….

The heART of the Apology …

We are having the launch of the heART of the Apology exhibition on Wednesday.

There were 11 posters created during the Apology at Elder Park here in Adelaide in the ‘heART’ Space that we established as a way to give ordinary Australians, of all colour, culture and creed a place to express their thoughts and feelings in a way that was divorced from the political footballing and rhetoric that was flooding the media in the months….and years … leading up to the Apology.

 

There was sadness and there were years and there was joy…

My buddy Katrina has worked for justice for many years and like so many other Aboriginal Women. her courage and resilience in the face of systemic racism have been out standing.

The Winter of content…

It was raining yesterday afternoon and after the months of drought and over 10 days where the temperature reached 100oF a few months ago, the winter rains and green-sheen everywhere are very welcome in this desert state.

I was sitting under the back verandah with the two semi-homeless garden cats, Gabrielle- [Gabi] and her daughter Shima. You can see how gorgeous they are:

The garden was humming with rain drops and birds and leaves blowing down from the Cedar Trees
late autumn fall:

…and I remembered back to when I first moved in here and all I could see was a barren, dry patch of soil…

…..and how this piece of Mother Earths blank canvas taught me more about process, time, holding a vision, weeding and seeding, than I could ever have imagined when I first moved here during a trials-and-tribulations winter of discontent….

In our ‘outcomes’ driven, western society I learnt that the answers we are seeking about sustainable change and growth are to be found in Mother Nature’s process of Time, cycles and seasons….

……and how wonderful it is to create a room with out walls and a fireplace whose only chimney is the sky….

Adelaide in South Australia is traditionally named ‘Tandanya’ , home of the Red Kangaroo.

Living and growing and learning and sharing on traditional Aboriginal Land, Kaurna Country has its own special strand of environmental magic and possibility….As my good buddy Nungala reminds me:

“It can happen so much better and so much faster if you acknowledge the Ancestors and remember the Dreaming”…..