~ The Art Of Change ~

Art and Creativity as Mediums for Empowerment , Connection and Change…

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

She is no longer in my Bed ~ She lives on in my Heart and Head…

Posted by carolom on February 26, 2011

** Poetry inspired by Imagery**

For a few minutes each day, in the summer time, the sunlight reflects from the bonnet of the car and casts a huge imprint of the lace curtains on to the bedroom wall.

The frangipani tree is sometimes silhouetted as well and the other day I walked past the window and my own shadow loomed before me.

It was a stark contrast to the multi coloured pillow case and purple lamp underneath it.

Seeing the image made me ponder about rooms and   invisible memories  and how blessed I am to be in a peaceful relationship with a peaceful man.

From my younger years I remembered how we  can be so impacted after a relationship ends, that it seems that even though he /she has gone, their presence is tangible and the memories of the lost~beloved casts shadows over our tomorrow.

The  imprint of the Love we have lost is represented  by a shadow that is only visible to the broken heart. In the photos  the rhythmic folds of the lace curtains have been transformed into bar-like lines~ symbolic of how imprisoned we can become  to the Love whose time has come and gone and the bitter sweet impact of having loved so passionately for it to then become a story of our past, never in the present again….

So I decided to write a poem. It is a fictional poem but a fact of life for so many who fall asleep nursing a broken heart and wake up to the lonliness of Love lost.

My poem honours the men who weep in silence because they were taught long ago not to show their feelings so they fall asleep at night with it all bottled up inside…

She is no longer in my Bed

For four passion filled years she lived by my side

holding  me tight

through many a night

Together we laughed and played and fought

She used to call me her Improbable Mr Right

Then one day with out warning

(I never saw the storm clouds forming)

She said I’ve met someone who is more Mr Right

than you

Within 24 hours she was gone from our

now broken home

which was  just a hollow  empty shell

 

and of course I was broken & homeless  too….

 

For long dark hours

in the grave where love sours

I yearned for her presence to

come back to me

Even when I began to date once again

despite my heartache & pain

Her presence hovered in and around

within every living cell of  me.

 

I fall asleep with

the emptiness of her

in my arms

Fire  & passion now gone from my life

along with her charms

 

I  miss her  outrageous opinions and views

She was my best friend and my Muse

but now another man calls her

My Beloved Wife

 

 

Posted in Love, Poetry | 1 Comment »

Ode to the Rescuer

Posted by carolom on September 23, 2010

This poem is  dedicated to the  many women, especially those  who I meet in domestic violence shelters,  who really do believe:

‘If I just keep on loving him, he will change & we will have the relationship that I know is possible’...

Ode to the Rescuer:

There was something very appealing about his pain

It matched her pattern perfectly

 and her pattern goes like this:

Give me a damaged man  with potential

and I will embrace him as my life mission

My personal quest!

I will claim myself to be his Rescuer

Through my eyes he will see

how sorely he has been denied Love

And  with the love of this Good Woman, he will heal!

He will heal

He will heal

He will heal

With the peace of mind that I alone have brought to him,

delivered to him on a sincere heart that pulses with conviction

His heart shall finally, after many troubled years

beat with contentment in symbiotic rhythm with  my own

Ahh..this future memory  brings tears to my eyes and reminds me  to be patient and the reward will come

Of this truth I have created, I am sure.

He will change

He will change

He will change

I shall interpret his moodiness as poetic brooding,

his sarcasm as merely the shadow of his enormous artistic sensitivities and his broken promises as the unfortunate repercussions of a busy, preoccupied man.

I shall deny myself my heart’s desires,

less they place too much of a burden on his already busy mind.

I shall seduce him into security with words thinly veiled

with the false reassurance that I want nothing of him

After all he is the broken one…

Not me.

***

I will prove to him that I am the one single woman

on this Earth who can heal his troubled Soul.

Because believe in him like no other has in the past

or could possibly at any time in the future….

As the rescue program gets under way I will slowly begin to allow

the duality of the situation to come to the fore

Actually I won’t have a choice!

Having ensnared him with my rescuers net

or having fallen into his

I shall wrestle with the duality of being drawn to his charismatic withdrawals

whilst also experiencing an awakening  awareness

that he is indeed mirroring my own need to  heal and rescue the wounded heart.

 

There is something painfully seductive about that wounded heart….

In order to ignore the needs of my own hopeful

desperate

optimistic

aching

wounded  heart

I will plunge into my rescuing role with paradox and passion

for  I am drawn to the angst of  tortured feelings

which I have misconstrued as Romance and Love as haplessly as he is drawn to his broody silences

and the acidic observations he casts out to bait me every now and then.

And quite regularly at times.

Words that forge our bond  like “who else would put up with you or me” and

we were meant for one another, we are as bad as each other

will be the hypnotic  sound track of the saga of our co-dependence

He will be my co-star as my life unfolds according to the stories I believe

Stories that I have created

Fictional stories I will defend as

Love

Alas it is a tired old script with no surprises in the Story whatsoever

but it will take me a long time to understand that to reinterpret and rewrite the lead roles

 because most of  this is new to me!

And I am a stranger to myself…

Therefore I will need quite some time to realise any of this as this predictable Olde Story unfolds on a roller coaster of drama and desire

yearning and conflict

Those old ‘but I love him” scenarios and inevitable cycles replaying themselves in the guise of Love.

Love?

No this is just unlearnt lessons in re-enactment!

I will come to realise this one day

though I do not know that yet of course

Although my heart does skip a beat when he looks at me in that certain something way

Surely that must be Love?

though you may well  think I am making a banquet from a few crumbs of moments of hard earned intimacy

You are wrong of course!

Wrong

Wrong

Wrong

I know this banquet will be rich in the fruits of my desires so long as I am patient.

will be Patient

will be Patient

will be Patient

My mantras give my life meaning and hope

They really do

 Really really they do.

In the meantime I will deny that the toxins of this relationship are causing me great harm.

Souring my naiveté. Poisoning the sweetness of my illusions whilst I continue to defend his lack of friendliness and warmth as justified on account of the awful things he went through as a child.

The unresolved issues with his difficult father

The conflict with his  troubled mother

There was just so much trouble that went into creating his troubled life

 that I share

I am perhaps the only one who really knows that

and understands him and LOVES him

The only one

The lonely one

BUT….

Love will conquer all.  I think I am sure of that!

There is only one fixed rule in all of this apparent uncertainty

 And this the rule I made and now obey:

I must Love him no matter how hard he is to Love.

I will Love him unconditionally

will Love him unconditionally

I will Love him unconditionally

This one rule will make it all wonderful one day because

He will open up

He will open up

He will open up

Ultimately of course I will deny myself the right to move forward, to reach my fullest potential because I will be anchored defiantly  to our co-dependence and staunchly

courageously

desperately

refer to it as

Love!

This is what I know Love to be.

The End

 

2001…I rededicate this to my lifelong friend Janet who was killed by her husband who then killed himself. Your life mattered, your stories are important to be told.                                                                                           

Carol Omer 

 

Posted in Change, Chaos, Childhood, Co-dependence, Denial, Domestic Violence, Drama, Fear, Journeys, Letting go, Lifes Stories, Love, Men and Women, Poetry, Relationships, Sisterhood, Transformation, Unrequited Love, Wisdom, Women | 9 Comments »

Reflecting on Oprah’s visit to Australia and When Women Dream and Create Together…

Posted by carolom on September 17, 2010

Over the years I played  a selection of Oprahs programs in-house as they were a rich, rare source of discussion and reflection and glimpses into new possibilities and self reflection during the years I ran a personal development group at a shelter for homeless young mothers.  Oprah’s personal story is one of over coming enormous obstacles and  the impact of abuse, liberation from racism and the power of aligning with the Divinity of life,  putting practical action to make the Dream come true. Many homeless Women I met over the years recognised their own potential through the Stories that Oprah brought onto the world stage…

For young Aboriginal Women at the shelter who grew up seeing only white faces on Australian television (sadly not much has changed), Oprah’s presence on national television was hugely significant.

Oprah Winfrey is surrounded by a co-creative team and it has taken many years of creativity and co-operation for her to have reached the stand alone level of influence and impact she has achieved.  I saw how impactful and life changing her motivational shows were for homeless Women throughout the 90′s – especially the Remembering Your Spirit series .  I admire her achievements enormously,  though I am not so much interested in her  programs around celebrity and make overs as I am about what people can do to create change and activate their fullest potential.

Women’s Well~Being has been the focus of my work from many years & most of the  ProsperArty Mandalas and the personal development art that I create for workshops express the Goddess aspect of being a Woman. We would sit and colour the Mandalas whilst watching the Oprah Show ~ a very relaxed way to sit and absorb information.

For me, one of the most powerful off all internal keys to creating change is Creativity…returning to the free flowing, creative state we came into this world with & have  often lost along the way….

In the Spirit of recognising a Woman of great influence, who manifests the very best of the Goddesses, Athena the Warrior who invokes change, Hestia who presides over home and heart’h, Persephone who transcended the subjugation of the underworld and Artemis who cares for young girls and sacred animals, I acknowledge Oprah Winfrey’s role that she has played in showing women that you can create and grow and bring about change in this world, irrespective of which of the skins you are in, where you have come from or what others will say can or can’t be done….

The Mandala below – which I have called “When Women Dream and Create Together” is created in the form of a Mandorla, the name of the shape created where two circles meet.  See my “About me ” page for further explanation of the Mandorla.

I was inspired to create “When Women Dream and Create Together” when it was announced that Oprah Winfrey would be coming to Australia, in a jumbo jet with John Travolta in the pilot seat and dozens of over joyed audience members! How fitting that Oprah completes her 25 years of public television with a trip to the Dreamtime Country.

Australia is Aboriginal country with a history of profound culture and wisdom that goes back thousands of years prior to European’s arriving here just a very short time ago. It is a living culture with so much to teach the world about how to live in harmony with Nature and within our Self. It is still the very early days of recovery from the devastating impact of white-settlement and I sincerely hope this important  Australian story to the world during her visit.

I chose the words at the centre of the Mandorla to reflect three things that are core to creating together : Love, Passion & Service.

Service is rent paid for room on Earth”….

In my workshops we add colour to the black and white template to create our own ProsperArty posters for relaxation and reflection.  For those who have not experienced working with the Mandala (circular) art form, I encourage you to give it a try!  Place your Vision, / thoughts / feelings into the Circle and see what Magic will unfold….

***

When Women Dream and Create Together

***

***

Together the Women are united in their Vision.

They hold up the Pyramid, symbolising the  Feminine Trinity:

~ Mother, Daughter, Divine  Spirit  ~

The Women  rise from the Heart together.

Love is the powerful, unifying force that generates their Creations.

***

Posted in ART of Change, Australia, Beauty, Change, Creativity, Dreaming, Energy, Fun, Gratitude, Imagination, Journeys, Joy, Lifes Stories, Love, Magic, Mandalas, Oneness, Oprah Australia, Oprah Winfrey, ProsperArty, Relationships, SiStars, Spirituality, Stories, The Art of Change, Transformation, Unity, Warrior Women, Wisdom, Women | 3 Comments »

A Beautiful Puppy Joins our Family…

Posted by carolom on August 28, 2010

His name is Frederick- Freddy – and at 8 weeks old, he is already a very big boy! Mum and Dad have allocated the next couple of years to Puppy-life….

Here is his close up shot….

He is a very big boy for 8 weeks old…BIG feet, not a lap dog for long!

Sam, who is 10, is not very happy he has a new little brother and has not been his usual jolly self the last few days….

Louise and Freddy both have wild woolly hair…

Gemma hugged Freddy and was over come with emotion….

Dad thinks Freddy is rather gorgeous…. many after noon walks ahead with Sam down by the creek…..

Freddy melts Mums heart……

Posted in Beloved Pets, Family, Fun, Joy, Love | 3 Comments »

” ~ As I Lay Dying ~ I Learnt How to Love ~ “…… The Poetry of Remembering…

Posted by carolom on August 18, 2010

Spending time at the bedside of someone who is dying transports our every day world to another place…a place where there are no guarantees and all of the things and all of the ‘stuff’ we have accumulated mean very little in the light of the next chapter of our infinite Journey…

I wrote this poem to honor the people I have known who made their journey back to the Spirit world from a hospital bed… and  to pay my respects for a beautiful, simple act I witnessed recently as a family member  tucked the blankets around her loved one’s well tucked in body, and patted  them down with the tenderness of a heart that was bursting  with love from a scared a place where  words could only transmit the tiniest fragment of her love…

 

As I Lay Dying…

 

For many days people came to my bedside.

I was moving between Here and Out There and would awaken

to see smiling faces  sad faces  concerned faces

standing over my bed side

Why even my old enemy from many years ago

appeared from yesterday, our passions long spent, our lessons now learnt

His  once suspicious  eyes that  mirrored my own

were gazing upon me with Love

It was a little strange but when he took my hand in his

I squeezed it lightly

I didn’t really have much reassurance to share as

every single thing took a great deal of effort

as I lay dying

Who ever would have thought all those years ago

when we fought it out in that stuffy meeting room

that we  would share such a tender moment as this…

~

 

Next  a sumptuous lover who I believed

I could not possibly live without

who I once wept, raged despaired and hoped for

Smiled down at me from her weary  wrinkled face

Her eyes exuded the very same Love we once revelled in

before jealousy soured the sweetness and poisoned

all possibilities of Love gifting us

with its fullest purest force

My jealousy, that burdensome trait I created from

who on earth knows where….

How silly it all seems now…

Jemilia, with the strange name and outrageous flirtatious ways

completely unsuited to one as insecure in Love as I!

Our Love never died. I understand that now

We  had different roads to travel.

Jealousy and the fury of insecurity seemed

a little ridiculous by the time we met again

When love kissed us with its fullest purest force

~

 

 

My friends they gathered

An  impressive array dressed in

different skins and shapes and sizes

Strong people, troubled people caring people edgy people

The whole eclectic cavalcade of those who travelled with me for awhile

they arrived like an endless stream, the audience from within

The theatre of my life

In spite of my semi conscious place

Well actually I was fully conscious at all times

but I was not always in the room

and from the vantage point of my  plumped up pillows

I realised that all of my family and all of my friends

Now all looked exactly the same

regardless of which of the skins they were in…

 

Love had softened  their eyes, made their smile tremble

some would even tuck in  my well tucked  body a little more

To let me know they cared (as if I couldn’t tell!)

and to move some of the Love that was making them feel very emotional indeed.

And I bathed in the pure sanctuary  of their uninhibited compassion

perhaps understanding Love for the very first time

Better late than never I heard the angels say…

~

 

When my time came, almost ten days into the final chapter

of my physical demise

I slipped quietly away

just as the new dawn was awakening

The nurse had stepped out of the room for just awhile

…I wanted  to leave with no fuss as we had agreed not to

resuscitate my body  under any circumstances

And that final breath, a dramatic moment indeed

the biggest noise I had made for weeks…

but oh such Joy!

My Spirit stretched like a cat who has been sleeping for a very long time

Stepping out of my body was so easy

I wondered how I had not accidentally slipped out before!

 

I was greeted with the open arms of those

who had travelled back to the Spirit world before me

There was much to catch up on, a great deal of Remembering to do

and  many new sights and delights to   see

~

 

Over the next few days I visited the grieving

as they gathered by my breathless earthly shell

and I saw how their Love had melted into tears

as people cried and told stories and remembered the times we had shared

even those stories I had once commanded  “Don’t talk about that!”…

were joyfully retold over and over

making me laugh and twirl through the air with delight

late into the dark night of their loss…

 

 

I learnt a lot about Love as I travelled through its embrace

and would share with you this one last thing

Though you may think I am gone

My Spirit travels on

and one day soon, we shall Love and laugh and dance

once again…..

 

R.I.P.  ~ Revel in Peace……

******************

 

This Love cloud floated past me … when we leave this world what we have learnt about Love will travel on with us… the rest of our ‘stuff’ stays behind….

 


Posted in Dying, Forgiveness, Letting go, Lifes Stories, Love, Poetry | Tagged: | 5 Comments »

My Niece Louise reminds me…

Posted by carolom on August 14, 2008

…that youth is passion and that anything is possible……

Louise reminds me of what a wonderful Mother my sister is and what a great man she chose in her husband Wayne… and how the arrival of Louise and her twin brother Ben moved our family to a whole new place of insight and love that is such a long way from the post-war life of our parents era…

…and what a wonderful ‘Nan’ and ‘Grandad’ our parents have become…

Posted in Family, Love, Magic, Women, Writing | 1 Comment »

I would tell you a secret but….

Posted by carolom on July 25, 2008

….Purrly says that would be letting the Cat out of the basket!

Posted in Cats, Fun, Love, Purrl | Leave a Comment »

Lighting the Fire in a room without walls…

Posted by carolom on July 16, 2008

Lit the fire for the first time this winter and we sat outside under a windy, wintery sky breathing in the heat and enjoying the warmth of good company and one of my very favourite Elements of all…

Posted in Adelaide, Fire, Friendships, Garden, Gratitude, Lifes Stories, Love, Nature, Oneness | Leave a Comment »

The Winter of content…

Posted by carolom on June 22, 2008

It was raining yesterday afternoon and after the months of drought and over 10 days where the temperature reached 100oF a few months ago, the winter rains and green-sheen everywhere are very welcome in this desert state.

I was sitting under the back verandah with the two semi-homeless garden cats, Gabrielle- [Gabi] and her daughter Shima. You can see how gorgeous they are:

The garden was humming with rain drops and birds and leaves blowing down from the Cedar Trees
late autumn fall:

…and I remembered back to when I first moved in here and all I could see was a barren, dry patch of soil…

…..and how this piece of Mother Earths blank canvas taught me more about process, time, holding a vision, weeding and seeding, than I could ever have imagined when I first moved here during a trials-and-tribulations winter of discontent….

In our ‘outcomes’ driven, western society I learnt that the answers we are seeking about sustainable change and growth are to be found in Mother Nature’s process of Time, cycles and seasons….

……and how wonderful it is to create a room with out walls and a fireplace whose only chimney is the sky….

Adelaide in South Australia is traditionally named ‘Tandanya’ , home of the Red Kangaroo.

Living and growing and learning and sharing on traditional Aboriginal Land, Kaurna Country has its own special strand of environmental magic and possibility….As my good buddy Nungala reminds me:

“It can happen so much better and so much faster if you acknowledge the Ancestors and remember the Dreaming”…..

Posted in Animals, Anthropomorphism, Cats, Change, Creativity, Dreaming, Garden, Gratitude, Humor, Imagination, Journeys, Kaurna, Lifes Stories, Love, Magic, Nature, Oneness, Peace, Power of Focus, Prosperity, Relationships, Social Artistry, Spirituality, Stories, Wealth, Wisdom | 1 Comment »

Peace, Prosperity, Passion and Power~of~Love for 2008

Posted by carolom on December 25, 2007

May all your Dreams Come True…Christmas 2007

sal-and-carol.jpg 

Mum and Dad…50 years married and still laughing and playing together…
mum-and-dad.jpg 

Our beautiful twins…my Niece and Nephew..Ben and Louise…born in 1989 bringing infinite Love into our Family…
ben-and-louise.jpg 

Louise and Aunty Carol
louise-and-aunty-carol.jpg 

Ben and Aunty Carol
ben-and-aunty-carol.jpg 

My lovely sister Chris and her gorgeous partner Greg..
chris-and-greg.jpg  

Ben and Grandma fought over the Kris Kringle Bubble Maker…Ben overpowered Grandma with his youthful zest but Grandma put up a good fight!
ben-and-mum.jpg  

And my gorgeous old, beautiful cat Yamatji (Yami) found a piece of discarded wrapping paper and settled down for a looong nap -as cats do! 15 years old, blind in one eye, Yami moved from the gold-wrapping long enough to munch on prawn scraps and ham-skin before returning to his crinkly-gold cushion where he remains as we speak!    
yamatji.jpg

Posted in Dreaming, Joy, Love | 1 Comment »

 
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