~ The Art Of Change ~

Art and Creativity as Mediums for Empowerment , Connection and Change…

~ Seeding and Sowing ~ Weeding & Growing ~

Posted by carolom on January 9, 2007

In 1998 my world came tumbling down- as in Crash! Over the few month prior to the Crash! I had completed the “The Artists Way”, Julia Cameron’s outstanding 12 week-study-at-home Creative Recovery course.

For 84 days and nights  I had been affirming & engaging in exercises that release limiting patterns and creative self-sabotage , not realising that making such big  bold statements would  result in big bold changes, many of them unexpected and hugely challenging,  arriving  as part of the Creative Recovery process.

The Artists Way is based on the principles of reclaiming the  free flowing, innate   Creativity that all of us are born with  and releasing the  learnt patterns and impact of a competitively oriented education system that  can disengage  us from developing our fullest creative potential!

Creativity can be likened to growing a Garden – Gardens teach us about  sowing and reaping, weeding and seeding, patience and time. Gardens connect us with Nature and the rhythms and cycles of the natural world. Popular self help  writings often  forget to mention the seasons and cycles of change that we are co-creating with and amongst…

In February of that year I very reluctantly left the home I loved so dearly, walked away from a relationship I once treasured and no longer had trust or peace of mind…..and in that upheaval lost my big garden with the wonderful big Cedar tree.

It all came to this bare and barren place..

I was running personal development groups for homeless women at the time and knew that life was calling me to ‘walk my talk’ like never before and to move to a new level of ….everything…….

Seeing the Garden of my dreams clearly in my mind, I began seed by seed and pulling weed by weed to plant my new Garden…I planted a Forgiveness tree, 4 gum trees to honour the Elements, the 4 directions and the Mind , Body, Spirit and Emotions which make up the wholeness of who we are.Lavendar bushes for my Grandmother’s memory….I remembered the principles I had learnt in my readings of the Findhorn Community in Northern Scotland and invited the nature Spirits and the elemental world to partner with me in my Healing Garden. How generous they were over the next few years!

My mother shared in some of the Healing Garden journey and planted a rose bush for her Mother, with a message of forgiveness and letting go in a mandala she created then  planted  in the baby rose bushes soil.

That first winter I did little other than weep and sleep and work and dig.

It was the ‘deep dark day of the Soul’ like I had never known before as I shed the layers of old patterns and life styles and beliefs  ~  beLIEfs  ~   and expectations that had taken me to a  barren garden and home without love.

In spite of the turmoil and sadness and loss, i understood  that I was in the midst of what Joseph Campbell refers to as “The Heroes Journey” and my call to ‘adventure’ meant that I had the choice to create a new garden seeded with the intent for a happy, loving, abundant life and that the s*it from yesterday was indeed the fertiliser for the new day and new garden.

The Spirit of my Garden grew and within four years my garden now looked like this:

I re-connected with Nature and  created a restful place of reflection and renewal

where I could sit under the stars and enjoy the fire in a lounge-room without walls or ceilings…

In 2001 I met a peaceful, kind, creative  man who arrived in my life with his own set of cook books ! We met at Dr Jean Houston’s Mystery School – The Mystery of Time, the Mystery of Magic….and the Mystery of Creation!

What my Garden has taught me is that if we affirm “I create the life of my dreams” and “I live a peaceful, fulfilling life”….then the circumstances and  things which are not in keeping with this decree will start to fall away (sometimes very quickly!) and  that might mean a period of enormous turmoil and loss and upheaval.

It can be pretty uncertain as we move to certainty.

But if we, one seed at a time, clear the soil, extract the weeds and water and love and cherish our Ideal.

And we no longer seek to mix oil with water by living in circumstances of chaos or drama or unhappiness whilst affirming that we deserve the best and blessings of  Life’s wonderful  gifts.  We release  that which no longer serves our life’s purpose  and allow a new vision to unfold.

Sometimes the transition from the old to the New can be a time filled with chaos and uncertainty, just like we see when the wild winds and heavy rains precipitate the gorgeous-glorious gardens of the Spring time – but it is worth it because the place beyond the uncertainty and the difficult times is a far more peaceful, creative place than the one we once thought we could never leave.

****

Post Script:

Regarding leaving the magnificent Cedar tree that I loved so much. A year after moving to the now-not-so-barren-house I noticed that a pot plant I had brought from my old home had sprouted a small Cedar tree from a seed dropped from the original “mother” tree.

Over the next few years it out grew the pot, splitting the sides and sending its roots down into the soil, eventually becoming a fully sized (15 feet) Daughter-Tree of the one I had to leave behind.

Not only that but a fig tree magically appeared along side, no doubt seeded by a bird in flight dropping magic-fertiliser on my garden!

The Cedar tree taught me that once we learn to let go and release, it will return to us! Not in the exact same way or even looking as we thought it would /could/ should but it will return once we have weeded out the things that have been keeping it away.

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14 Responses to “~ Seeding and Sowing ~ Weeding & Growing ~”

  1. roadmarx said

    Awesome. Thanks for that. I was having a bluish patch, given that I am in the middle of the turmoil to which you refer, and it was a real joy to read this.
    Many many thanks.

  2. carolom said

    You are very welcome Tony….just keep focused on the Vision for the life you are creating….process the discordant emotions as they arise….they are your navigational barometers…. and I am sure that you will find yourself in YOUR Garden one day soon…

    Love the word play with your name (on your site) by the way…

    Carol

  3. carolom said

    Thankyou Kerry…I know you and your wife will experience joy like no other as you plant your Garden and experieince it growing together…..

    Carol

  4. Serenity said

    Carol,

    I love this story and is one I identify with so much.

    There is so much wisdom that can be found in your sharing of this journey.

    I myself have recently emerged from a mini “dark night of the soul” as you well know!

    I questioned so much about what was familiar in my life…aware that I was releasing alot of what no longer served me…yet almost fearful of the change and transformation that was occuring.

    “The Cedar tree taught me that once we learn to let go and release….it will return to us….not in the exact same way or even looking as we thought it would /could/ should…….but it will return when our Intent is in aligment with the Highest…..”

    Now that is so beautiful and you have inspired me to continue with my weeding annd seeding that I started when I too moved from one life that had quite a bit of Draaaaaaaaaaaamaagh in it …to a new way of being…ACT~I~ON and Service.

    Love Serenity xx

  5. All your toil and suffering has paid off. What a lovely garden, one to give you peace and happiness. Well done.

  6. carolom said

    Serenity I just KNOW your Garden is a magnificent demonstration of your passionate weeding and seeding and Dreaming and sharing….XXX

    ****

    Thankyou Valerie…it had been an amazing journey and one that I recorded in photos over several years in preparation for making a short film “My Garden Story”…

  7. care'n ffb said

    Carol,
    Thank you for taking the time to read my post and share your story, I appreciate that. At the moment I’m in the darkness of the soil and struggling to find which way is up. Your story does give me some hope that some day in the future the seeds planted today will grow as long as I keep at it. I have to not only for myself also for my kids sake that life can be good.
    Thanks again.
    care’n ffb

  8. michele said

    this is EXACTLY the story we all are going for.. CONGRATULATIONS> the garden looks AMAZING.. what a transformation..
    i have also taken that “heros journey” and have been through the “dark night of the soul”.. suicidal for 2 yrs over a breakup with a JERK… UGH..

    its so wonderful and i send you huge hugs.. i am on my way to the same thing..

    thanks for the hope and validation..

    michele

  9. ANGEL EYES said

    WOW WHAT A wonderful story AND THANKS FOR SHARING IT. I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THE REASONS WHY NOTHING HAS BEEN GOING RIGHT IN MY LIFE SINCE BEEN PRACTISING THE LOA , IN FACT THE OPPOSITE HAS BEEN HAPPENING……MY SOURCE OF INCOME HAS BEEN REDUCED, I BEEN HAVING ISSUES WITH MY “SO CALLED” FRIENDS AND THIS IS AFTER I WAS ASKING AND VISUALISNG FOR MY HEALTH(I HAVE A CHRONIC ILLNESS FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS WHICH HAS LEFT ME DISABLED, ) AND WEALTH .AND YOUR STORY HAS SHOWN ME THE REASON WHY, AND TO NOT GIVE UP !!!! THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU
    ANGEL EYES

    • sally boismier said

      THANK YOU FOR REPLYING TO MY EMAIL. YOUR DOING SO BROUGHT A FEELING OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO ME THIS MORNING. HAVING READ SOME OF THE RESPONSES TO YOUR WEBSITE IS GOOD AS WELL. I WAS TAKEN PARTICULARLY BY WHAT ANGEL EYES SAID WHEN SHE WROTE. THIS IS A JOURNEY FOR THE GOOD…I AM STANDING FIRM IN MY DESIRE TO WALK IN IT….TO LEARN OF IT, EVEN IN THE FACE OF ALL THIS “BLAH” THAT HAS SET IT’S UGLY FACE BEFORE ME.
      JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR CARING….IT TRULY MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.
      SALLY BOISMIER

  10. Hi Carolom,

    I love sharing your journey in words. Thanks for sharing your insights. I have a dear friend who shared that chaos is merely energy being released (breaking apart) within old patterns to reform into new patterns (creating anew). This has allowed me to feel change differently. When I see change happening, I look forward to new expanded patterns. Thank You for your beautiful share. Clara

  11. Hi carol,

    I really appreciate you sharing your journey. It’s meaningful and helpful.

    Alan

  12. Oh Carol – the transformation of your garden is so so beautful. Thank you for sharing your own journey of passing thru the dark night of the soul into something more fertile and creative and beautiful. Blessings to you for sharing your journey.

  13. I have just read this and feel tears in my eyes and joy in my spirit. What a journey, what lessons. Thanks for sharing with us. I’m in my desolate place. There is a garden and joy of joy there is a river but it lacks spirit in my space. I’m encouraged to explore this concept. XXXXX

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